My Year to Shine

This is my July bujo till I use it up it says Be Yourself on the front.  In addition with my new Happy Planner. This is my year to shine. I got a happy planner that said "this is your year to shine" on the cover! So I have adapted that is my new theme for the next year. Starting  in July.

I have started to clean the shop and declutter things set to go. Yea for today's progress. Tree pruning equipment is gone yippe! The guys that do yard work were excited.

I found a home for the fishing tackle as well. I am working on this in layers few minutes at a time, I can do this.

We had rainy weather to be  more efficient I need sunshine. That will come but may make the temps too hot.

I looked in the she shed and found items I had set aside to declutter while the shut down had happened this spring, I can get those out now as the thrift shops are taking things again now. That helps.

Simple things like laundry going are a blessing. I am reminded of a repair person I need to call. I have been going over my bullet journals for the last couple of years for some inspiration and ideas on future planning. We had a french door to put in the shed but it is the wrong size so I am considering a smaller door a regular size one. We had some things for projects like plywood for the floor. That was before I decided that I dis like working outside in the heat and cold with out power. I have other things I can do inside with power!

The garden is under control I do not need rows of beans for just one person, if I do want to put some up there is the farmer's markets to enjoy. Last year growing my veg. took all the fun out of the farmer's markets! LOL!

I started a book wish list and am excited to have one on the way, but may not be her  until next week.

I got a trail in the small shed so I have room to move around a bit in there and need to set up the sorting area in the carport when the rains stop.

I do not feel very shiny at times but it is good to have some thing to reach towards.

I have been doing yard work weeding after a lot of rain in mid June. Grateful for the progress, activity and sun that came after the rains.
July 4th is not fun for the dog with all the noise so I am thinking of her.
It seems the celebrations for the fourth will be going ahead this year.

One Thing Notes

I just listened to The One Thing on audio book on you tube while I was doing shredder detail and decluttering work this past week. I took some notes.

For One Book July there is one gal doing that book for a focus in hers. She does videos on You Tube. Carrie Harding I think is her name.

Went to the store got yarn for my knitting project the smaller motifs to go in between the larger ones.

I have been fighting with my phone and finally got my chrome on it so I can listen. Got tired to trying to fight with Apple id sign in. I just wish I could say I have three divices and yes I just signed in with my newest one! Yes it was me on android I am trying some thing new. Hating apple sign in at this point and others as well. Technology is not my friend at this moment in time.

one thing I can do today to move forward.
            "              this week  "
            "              this mo.    "
            "              in 6 mo.    "
            "              in 90 days  "

time blocking / this is great to look into for more research.
Doing the one thing needs balance like focus on one area but it cannot be half of a day every day we need other things acomplished in our lives also. Like laundry and floors. But I listened to the book and did the dishes and spiffed up the counters then took my divice was using the crome book this morning, it went on my rbr room by room adventures with me while I made the bed, did the daily things on my list. Got to the sinks also! Yea! Walked the dog forgot my phone! LOL! It discourages multi - tasking but I think that is better than sitting on my you know what watching TV and not getting stuff done.

work
family
relationships
to accomplish
find and develop incredable talent
accomplish goals
Balance

I did find another batch of shreddig to do put it in a basket it was not so much so I was able to finish that! Yea!

Signed in for my warenty coating on my phone they do some thing different than screen protectors these days to protect from sctatching cracking.

Used my apple acct. Glad I could do that. Learned how to use a new app and my grandaughter has had hers for a couple of mo. And did not know how to do some of the features. I am going throught the tips manual. Got it to post a pic on fb now, not sure if that it goes yet or not! LOL.

I have two more boxes to shread so that is on my list.

Shredder Duty

Today is a cold wet and rainy one I had to turn on the heat. I did sort and get old checks through the shredder first thing this morning. I am feeling so productive yea!

I talked with my sis a CNA in a nursing home and asked her input for a friend dealing with hospace advice she said was to ask them about resources even if one is not on hospice yet. Different areas have different services. My experience was way diffeent that others I have talked to about it. So each situation is different. My experience with it was short 24 hours and it was at a facility not in home as others have had. I know of four others they each had a different experience with it. So I think each situation is different. So help is avalible but cv - 19 has changed some things or it did for me at least.

I think the counseling and other eperiences with loss of family memebers has given me some grief experience to help with this current season for me. One book called it experienced grief persons, some on to call if you need support. As I talk with the kids I can tell that they are still processing it. I had more time to get used to this season, and saw the daily struggles and know how it was effecting us.

In the audio book it suggested ten most common asked questions, that could help to google for some thing you are embarking on. Seek help from outside sources, I have a friend with some thing that is challenging her I have zero experience with so I had to say I do not know. I did a tiny bit of research but then realized this friend just needed a listening ear as she processed what was going on and things she was grappling with. End of life stuff for a family member. The next step the big one and getting beyond that.

Some times we need to plan and get a list for after the loss of a loved one, or after we retire. Where do I go from here, the list may or may not work out but at least it can be a spring board for the next thing. Getting our minds in to different head space than being stuck not knowing where to turn or what to do next.

Now I need to think about what else is going on for me. I am grateful for the small things today like the sound of rain drops. I laughed out loud at some thing silly today. I know my joy is returning that helps.

I was please to be a blessing to others as I share some of the things I am letting go of. Old CB stuff and a bag of rags some one said they could use that others did not want was gave me joy to share. That also freed up space to breathe or have something more useful in my life now.

I am SO excited about some new things in July. I have been listening to an autio book while I shred papers and that has helped. I feel more productive.

I have a new bullet journal to begin on the first I hoped to start it today but there are just enough pages for this month. So cool how life happens.

New flowers are blooming in the yard some sunflowers that came up on their own are now blooming, and some lilies that I planted. I can think about bulbs I want to get and plant for blooms next year.

It Came!

Got my ring [costume jewlery] last week. That and some books of grief that do seem to be helping. I got a pie for remebering what would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. It was fun looking forward to it. A bit clunky big but a symbol for me of all the big steps I have had to take this spring. It is a bit wide but oh so much fun. A copy of Princess di's ring that Megan M. eventually got. Love the color of it.

I also got the books that week it came as well.

Trying some thing new with this post I put it on an automatic upload time it is good to learn new things!

Sifting

This past week was a lot of going through things sifting through papers, sorting things, and purging old files and letting go of not needed items. That I will not use it is definately a process. The house looks like some one is moving or mucking out a room as my friend would say.

Good progress and I was able to let go of the things I had set aside for that. A couple of people helped me to figure out this and that. my son got the things for family and that he wanted this weekend. I said "Merry Christmas from Dad." before he left.

I have two trash bags of papers that I have shredded, one will have to go out next week as the trash is pretty full already.

I need to clean up in the rec room before I start on the next round of things from the storage zone in the sewing room that I will move. It will be great to get to that before Christmas in July focus begins! I have my crafting projects in mind for that.

Rain and cooler weather makes for more desirable inside activities. So the small shed clearing out is pushed back a bit more.

My son said "WOW mom you have really done a lot in here!" When he came downstairs to the room I had been focusing on that made me feel good. I am thinking that this is one of my gifted areas and I have experience as I have done this in a couple of the jobs I worked at in my younger days. Cleaning a mechinic's shop, and purging files in a couple of offices.

I now have more boxes that are empty and I have done rather than needed to be done unlike earlier in the week. So that is a good way to gauge my progress.

New Phone

I got a new phone or new to me actually at the phone store this phone has been refurbished I'm happy about this but there is a learning curve and I need to add contacts. Learning as I go with this. Got the cover to protect the glass, and a case protecter.This was a sweet deal and I am happy. They did not have the 5g phones yet.

Apple 8 version is an upgrade for me I am on a learning curve for me. Happy I figured out voice mail.

Decided against a free 30 day trial of Apple watch, that was UGLY and figured I would ruin it in water gardening or doing dishes and small print. Might reconsider that at some point.

Got a spare case protector only to discover it was for plus sized phone mine was not neither was grand daughrers so I retunrned that case, I realized before I opened it and found one in the right size! A spare is good because I had one break and coild not replaced  because the phone styles had changed no covers were avalible.

[Took this pic. With my tablet.]

Focus

Learning to focus, that's what I need to do.
I need to trim my bangs and pay attn. to the budget.

I have on a house dress today thinking it is good to pick one day to dress up even if I am just at home, but not painting day as I am messy. I remember when nurses wore dresses white uniforms at work in a doctor's office.

I was up in the night with a low I stayed up and did the floors they were over due.

I have mowing to do later on when it dries off a bit.

I have a ladder to build out of 2 x 4"s. Hoping to do it just with a hammer and tape measure and nails.

I have been going over my plans for a new month, my bujo is nearly full so I have been decidding what to use for the next six months rest of the year.

Our gov. have instutide mandaory face masks in public. Makes me wonder how that works when you are eating at a cafe'? I found info. on that after you sit down in a cafe' you can take your mask off. Only one case in our county that was three weeks ago.

I walked the dog before seven this morning she is way more willing to go then. She likes to be sprinkled with water when it is the hottest part of the day. Think water babtism not hose sprinkler. She dislikes the hose.

I got my hydration beverage in the fridge for later on.

Sorting some markers was successful glad I decided to do that got the old non working dried up ones out of the bag I keep them in a zip lock bag. Yea for some progress.

I am continuing on paper mountian sorting, I got the envelopes off the papers and the junk mail out, those do not need to be shredded. I got the sherdding done of one years stuff today by doing it in rounds. Peppy music helps! I am to the last third of this now. Seems to be going better as I get a better way of system of sorting purging and deculuttering. Listening to books on tape helps me to feel like this time is productive for me also.

I am starting to look forward to next month and some fun crafts and things that I want to do.

The problem with focus is that it can be all consuming. I have been working on the acrhive papers decluttering project, but with out balance the rest of the house is in dire need of attention now.

It was a windy day and even through it is cooler was not so fun to be outside. 

Paper Taming

More sorting ~ neighbors said they had to go through old stuff they had as well their shredder was going for two days. Old tax returns.

For my task it is like three times what normal folks have. We had a business there is that to purge, personal stuff as well, and from his parents and a grand parent there are boxes to do. So I just tell myself I can do ten pages a day or an inch of paper work each session. I have done this in the past. I have to not think of it all at once and have put it in different areas so I do not have to work on it at once.

At the tax place they were joking about the "W-mart" brief case when people bring tax stuff in a plasic grocery sack. Had to laugh about that. I have used a non plastic re usable bag for ours at times.

Hubby had kept old log books from driving truck over ten years so those left they were in of the drawers of things I let go of. Seeing the progress that I am making on this is very empowering for me.

The desk I cleared off earlier this week is a great sorting station. Some personal stuff is in room, and business in another. I went through a box of each. The desk is cleared off again now.

I took a break from paper work sorting and weeded around the plant cage to de~stress. Had two phone appointments today.

Yummy lunches this week have been cottage cheese, cooked turkey, cukes and tomato slices love the summer menu change up!

I have climbed 2/3 rds the way up paper work mountian, the other side is a slippery slope. LOL. The other third is for another day.

I continued this the next morning to proff it, got the next batch of sorting shredding to do upstairs rounded up it will take a week I suspect. I also decluttered half a shelf in the small shop this morning it was way easier and takes less energy but it is hot here today! Ack! Rain coming this wekeend and cooler temps that will help.

Decluttering Restarted

I am SO glad I kept on with sorting de cluttering and the zone with in a zone work. I found 25th wedding anniversary pics that was great. The manual for the boat motor can go to family member that has it now, and life vest useful goes with it.

Called my son and he is interested in things I thought he would want. Plus he can help with telling me what things are that I do not know what they go to. I figured out most o f it.

I got the vynil table cloth on the folding table and rolling carts art coming in handy for moving boxes around I thought they were paper work some had a few fun surprises in them like the photos. I am so glad I took the time to clear out that corner now smiling!

Taking a rest break for lunch found some good stuff in the deep freezer for this week. Meat already cooked, veg. and rolls. So I can continue on with the projects I am doing don't have to cook it.

Getting the paint up stairs and outside to the she shed my painting area is done, I am clearing a woek space I used last summer out side is under way yea for some progress on that!

Found a bag of paper work for shredding or burning from last summer, delt with that.

I was pleased with my paper work organization of past years it paid off today yea me! Divide and conquer is the name of the game on the paper work, personal on one shelf, business on a different one, and farm stuff in a different spot.

Then sort what is old enough to let go of and some is to keep with historical significance. My office experience is coming in handy and pointers from family memebers. I found yet another office in a bag while cleaning rolling my eyes. I am happy I have another desk in the basement I can use for some of this.

I talked with some one who's spouse was gone three years and said I was ahead of them in the process every one goes at their own pace. As this person said it does help to keep me busy. I mentioned that the books I got have been helping I think. Also doing rounds is helping so I can get a break.

Other things need my attention like daily tasks laundry and such doing the budget, and kitchen work. Some music and Netflicks have been great rewards for me.

I found truck owner repair books, and some 30+ year old paper work let go of that.

Summer Routines

I am working on my summer routine schedule, had to change it up a bit because of the warming temps. Did my journaling last night and my planning. I  have done qt & walked the dog early done by nine my goal is before ten. She liked that!

I got the trash dumped, I have more stuff to sort as I am working on the closet under the stairs making great progress. I can move some paper work off the rolling cart on the shelf, I am 99% is attached to the wall I need to recheck that.

I have windows open for fresh air and cool morning breezes. Hit music is on this morning. I am rethinking the other shelving in the tool room. It is good to think and consider some changes on my walks.

Good progress yesterday my new plan on difficult days is to get a project going like on anniversaries, Father's day etc. I am going to get dirty again today it is a no jewelry day. It just gets in the way. I use my phone so do not "need" the watch.

Soon as the grass dries off I can consider the burning I want to do and cook something on the firepit. I need sorting stations in the shade set up.

I have blocks and boards I can put up to get things off the ground. I used the wheel burrow that has one flat tire for some sorting that worked pretty well I was surprised.

This reminds me of going through his dad's shop at the farm that was a pretty big job and it was gone through by his dad as well before he passed on. It is good for me to remind myself it is not that big of a job!

I cleared off a work station and moved it to the basement taller than the blocks I was considering. I took the carpet we had put down there temparilry so I can paint in there now.

Home Work

I signed up for an e-mail course on grief work. From one of the books. Gary Roe has excellent free on line resources. The first lesson was on  getting together with a friend and safe people to met with, putting together a team. Support net work.  A journal has been mentioned already. I have been doing that.

I grief work in the past in the 90's when my sister completed suicide, and a few years ago when my mother died of brain cancer, has given me some experience.

My friend said she is writing again. That was great news. We have giving ourselves permission to move ahead and face what is next and do some things that help us. Make some plans and think about a next step.I am hoping some one can be helped by this blog, but if not I know it is helping me.

Part of the problem in early grieving you are crying and cannot really read words on a page in a book because of the teas. I was grateful for my auto pilot chore list to help me through the day knowing that. And I had a list in my head of things I knew would have to happen in the coming days. My daughter had went down a list of those before hubby passed. I knew them but also knew there was a timing thing as well. A couple of other unknown items cropped up and got added to that list. But it progressed. Is still progressing. It is a process one step at a time.

The list I know you are wondering ~ generally speaking
services life celebration gathering of family
notifications
budget  accounts phones etc.
dealing with clothes what to do with the "stuff".

Rings getting my stones re set no hurry on that or get my wedding ring sized for my other hand, or getting the stones changed for colored ones.

This takes; time three months later yea still dealing with this list.

I have a five year plan to down size, if I can still mow and keep up with my garden, use the laundry in the basement, if not will re evaluate then if I can keep the house. Time will tell. There is so much stuff here my looms spinning wheel here and hubby's as well.

Unfinished business...
French doors that did not fit what to do with them?
She Shed to paint in.
Shop stuff sort and declutter started working on that last weekend.
Got an idea today that some of it might be going to the habit store, but of course the kids want some of it they say but if they do not come to get it in a reasonable amount of time guess what it is leaving the premises.

Having rain today and plans got changed of my helper today. Oh well no hurry I suppose.

Time Stood Still

When my watch stopped I was looking for batteries for it and found not one but two of my old watches both still working. So I am good in the watch department.

When grief this spring I had to walk in what felt like molasses, getting through papers and things like that were a challenge in those early days for me.

I worked through the fog and got some routines going. Those helped and I remembered how much it helped to get some fresh air and out of the house, walking the dog, gardening even just sitting on the patio.

Writing helped and remembering some tasks I liked to do like knitting that calmed me and brought comfort and helped things feel normal to me.

I heard of someone this week that lost a spouse and is not doing well. Unable to keep up their yard, lost pension when the spouse died. Is deciding to keep the home or stay. Big important decisions but rethinking is important if things are not working out. The kids are not helping out but sometimes that is the only way for a person to realize change needs to happen.

Anger is a part of the processing I used to smash pop cans. It was great therapy for me. This week music is helping last week it did not help.

I am doing better now able to sort and delcutter some things again that I did not even try to tackle before. It is nice in the basement, and outside in the mornings in the shop and tool room it is cool. I went through another shelf and a half. Might need some boxes. Some things need to go outside. Progress is great like things together and I can do this one of my jobs I cleaned and sorted stuff in a mechanic's shop so I have a pretty good idea of how to sort this stuff. I am trying to clear of space for files that are needed to be kept up off the floor. 

Found a few surprises like the new mirrors I think for the old truck and a couple of things I have no idea what it is or the purpose for it. I will have to take a pic. and post & ask if any one knows.

A Place Of My Own

I finally got my own place, at 65 I have never lived on my own. Yes I have done a budget mowed a lawn been a home owner. But never on my own. This is exiting and fun for me I am the boss and I get to make the decisions and call the shots.

I do not have to cook if I do not want to. I'm stocked up on granola bars, pop tarts and ensure! I like to cook but not so much in the summer. My bbq ing skills are sorely lacking. Rolling my eyes.

I love my yard and garden roses there are a life time of gathering planting and fun putting in those. Trees have come and gone as have some plants.

Today I am enjoying some jazz music in the back ground. It is raining gently outside here now. I am trying to decided what to do about the truck. I cannot haul stuff very well with the cover on it. The truck is so nice. I will be getting new bed liner dirty 99% sure! LOL!

Got to town today and was looking for wooden crates for a project they were out. I was disappointed. But got some vinyl type fabric to use as a table cloth, and some cotton for future projects the cotton is a garden theme.

My watch quit they are not working on them so found a new one and got that. Took a bit of a drive and saw three deer two bucks in velvet and a doe. That was exciting for me to see.

I did some cleaning in the small shop and that felt great and found some stuff in it the leaf blower. Some things I had will work like I had in mind for the crates but I had to move some stuff to get to them a small dresser. And a work counter for on tome of them. I got those moved and I am calling this the no tool version of my work space in the she shed. Some thing I can move also.

I found things I had been looking for the Christmas cards that was a surprise! Some other things that need to be gone thorough old papers and odds & ends. So getting through that will be my next round of de clawing that paper tiger.

My oldest grand daughter came and got the fishing tackle for her guy he bought the boat hubby had built and sold to our son. The tackle need to go in the boat not just sit around here!

Weekly Hike with My Dog!

Saturday Projects:
Took a hike with my dog in the field today. She got to chase a mole or gopher and had a blast. That was out exercise today.

In the pic she is enjoying the cool breeze of the fan after we got back it rained a few drops was a bit muggy out later on. When she does this it reminds me of when dogs poke their head out the car window to catch the breeze and sniff the air.

Speaking of moles I dug the hole to put the cayenne pepper in to drive moles out of the side yard. So glad to have the started.

On the walk had a chat with a neighbor that had just bought his folks place, his mom is still living there. He was working the fence line with a track hoe.

Then later on I chatted with the neighbor over the back fence. I asked for the screen door they were done with and she gave that to me. I hosed the dust off of it.

Earlier I put the crates out to the she shed. I am setting up a work surface, tweaking the height of it and seeing what works in that space. This was three trips to the basement for the crates and drawer that I use for storage also part of my exercise today.

Book List

Book haul I went to the thrift shop looking for books, and they were having a half off sale I then went to the book store on main it has used books as well. Found some titles I was interested in and got some from the free stack! My book drought is over! I spend under $9.00. Smile

This is my book reading list:
Currently reading:

eat the cookies but the shoes
/ by Joyce Meyer

A Colorful Way of Living
/ by Barbara Bradley Baekgaard

The Gift in You
/ by Dr. Caroline Leaf

The Grief Recovery Handbook
/ by John W. James Russell Friedman

The Language of Letting Go
journal [for 365 days]
/by Melody Beattie

----
Tuesdays With Morrie
/by Mitch Albom [I think I've read this one know I've seen a movie.]

The Leadership Secrets of JESUS
/ by Mike Murdock Looks good have just flipped through it.

The Artful Journal
Maureen Carey * Raymond Fox * Jacqueline Penney
A Spiritual Quest
Lost of colorful photos to look at in this one with glossy pages.
[free.]

The Rose
/by American Rose Society [free]

A father's Legacy
Journal [free]
I have the mom's version got it for the writing prompts.

later added...
Heartbroken
/By Gary Roe
New this author has many on line resources.

Angel Catcher
A Journal of Loss and Remembrance
Used light small print in the writing prompts in this.

Art Date

I am excited I was over town and wanted to treat myself, I got a sweet basil plant for the deck. I had been craving an Arby's sandwich so went there and it is across from the thrift shop I was heading there for a book & journal hunt they had a half off sale score!

After such great success I went to the book store on main up a few blocks and found more titles and some free as well.

Got several titles those are coming in a different blog post entry. I was over the moon happy, then crashed and cried gator tears when a book I was into got mis - laid. I prayed hunted and looked around finally found it.

Later realized hormonal happenings were at play, I had a zit... rolling my eyes. The dog was great comfort and a distraction at my lost book distress. Found a ring in my quest to find this newly acquired item was costume jewelry , the book had slid off the foot stool found it after I looked under the couch and in after surface I could have put it down on all through the house.

We have delicious weather the past two days yea! Got some yard stuff accomplished also.

More paper work

I am dealing with a mountain of paper work this week. Getting some progress is a good thing I need to remember that. Even having the forethought to read the booklet and make of list of needed info. is a good thing. Getting it in a folder, packet or briefcase.

I have started writing out some of this process in longhand on paper. I am hoping that helps. Seems to have worked in the past. This may not work for some people for me it seems beneficial.

I paid some bills the process with my old phone is a bit tedious but I did accomplish this mornings mission with those.

My task of something I have been putting off is underway more paper filing. I am on hold...

Seems to me that I have to get a new watch it stopped. This morning.
Now I am thinking of the other things, good news while looking for watch battery found two watches of mine that actually work. Yea! Using one of those now.

New week

Some of the rocks I painted and released this weekend. Great therapy.

HBH Home Blessing hour  do one thing today like sweep floors.
RBR Room By Room 5 min. In each room x
PUPA Pick Up and Put Away x
15 min. on the budget done taxes are in the mail. x

Next Steps ~ SS stuff read booklet x
Looking forward to ~ Order coming
Grats ~ Family gathering went well
Prayer ~ World USA Family & Friends Healing

Daily's 8 D's
Dinner ~ soup rainy day
Duds x
Dishes x
Do Zone #3 sewing zone
Declutter
Declaw paper tiger
Dump trash x

Top Tasks
1 Two habits * under way
2 Make Goals list some thing fun.
3 Retirement Planning
4 Look up Book Titles
5 Call Library / Book Store

Done: x

New Plan

Got a new plan for a family gathering, decided on a local place indoor eating is back open. The buffet was not be going but we ordered off the menu. This was one of hubby's favorite place to eat. Rainy forecast prevented the outdoor activity that was the first plan. Glad I thought of this alternative. More of the grand kids were there than I thought would be so that was good.  At the dinner I told everyone that this counts for our "family gathering". So I can check it off the list. It went well, when I prayed before the meal my voice cracked and I got choked up when I ask God to help heal the whole in our shattered and broken hearts. Everyone had tears. The food was good. It was quiet and we were the only ones in the back of this cafe'.

I had the rocks to share and the ones that were left I put at the rock trading post. This morning I got the stool I had been painting on finished.  Put some checker board design on it.

I remember a shirt I had to give to eldest grand daughter with her collage name on it glad I brought that.

It is time for me to get going on my morning stuff, planning, my journal is done. Had my coffee smiling. I slept well last night that is good.

One thing I needed to put in yesterdays blog what made me laugh but ran out of room. I did laugh yesterday. The dog and her antics, some funny posts on fb and comments on others. It is good to remember things that made me laugh.

Saw a squirrel at the base of the tree out front and the dog jumped up on the stool by the window to watch it. She grabs her leash in her mouth and walks around the house I love that.

I napped processed all that happened after I walked the dog. Then did 15 min. on cleaning up the patio and carport.

Through the knot hole

Trying to figure out how to upload found a pic of hubby. One year for mothere's day I wanted iris from the ranch that sells them by the orchards in our area!

Random stuff ...
What I call it when going through the emotional ringer the knot hole. This has been one of those weeks. What made me cry music on the radio, the song in my head by Dolly Pardon. Thinking of bike riding together pedal bikes, motor cycles & atv-ing together. Finding a hat from his work. Finding sox he put on the chair to protect bc of chemo. The greeter at w mart asking how are you.  Not getting sleep the night I worried about finding the checks, that were in the check book under the carbon sheet. Shaking my head! I am not making that up.

What made you mad? [my daughter said to write that down] the banks not open, cv - 19 delays, paper work snafu's by others. Oh and not getting my way!

I found out dust does not make me mad I ignore it. :)
I am not feeling alone it is like healing tears.

I located some book titles.... on grief... "squirrel" have to write down a note elsewhere...Okay back to the book will wait to see if I like it or not.
While looking at that I lost the other title I wanted, found they have journals and grief work books so I am about to jot down that info.
I am upset that our library does not have very much resources but it might be that they are remodeling.

Rock painting helps swear word abbreviation warning, I put one on a rock before cancer, and another cv - 19, then moved on to painting tears, and they morphed into balloons painted on rocks that could be released. I did apx. 50 painted rocks.

I painted a stool today it went from purple two shades to one shade of teal.

I walked the dog around the block walked with my coat it was cold today. The sun  come out.

Looking forward to
on my list ... been putting off getting
phone
med. id tag bracelet
Book and journal coming on grief put it on wish list.
Other journals and work books on grief to put on wish list.

~~~~~

What I like about being single.
Laundry for one.
Jeep is my suv, getting to drive it!
Gonna go get my jeep hat on now.

What is camping in a jeep called? Tenting.
Dreaming of 5 acres with a John Deere tractor to play on.

Now I need to locate my newer files of pics from this tablet learn how to do that.

Yea found a recient pic!

Finally some good news!

Today I was up in the night I could not sleep. I have been careful with my coffee consumption after three p m so it was not that. Someone said they had to stop coffee etc. at noon might be some thing to consider. Gotta luv Free Day Friday! Sat. the kitchen needs some attention. 

I got up and worked on finding something I had misplaced happy to say that I found that! Got some progress on my desk. The paperwork room needs more attn. this week I did a round last evening as well. I need to rethink how I have the stuff in storage in there. I have some file folders I need to put in a box or basket that will help stuff to be look organized. 

I have some ideas for moving boxes of storage for files and the crafting stuff into the spare bed room for now anyway, the creativity room needs some clearing out to function better. I purged more months in a planner so that was great! Found some placed to store boxes of paperwork that was on my chair in there. Love that kind of progress. 

Get fuel was on my list so I did that on the way home in one of the rigs. So happy to have that done yippie!

I have a plan for dinner today planned leftovers. I organized the cupboards and got the the pantry in order so glad for that zone work today! 

My quiet time was productive yesterday yea for that! I especially liked the pillars of wisdom part in Proverbs.  I got some good notes on it. 

Glad I checked hours before I left on an errand it is open an hour later than I thought it was. 

I have been cutting up the muffins I made up the dog likes them as a treat. This is helping to use some of them up and I am happy to get the room in the deep freezer. 

Someone suggested making a list and or writing about what was making me angry. I have learned not to do that because if when I go back and review it I get angry all over again. It works better for me to acknowledge three things I am upset about and then move on. Then process that and move on to the next. 

People around me are dealing with tough issues as well, sometimes I can help by listening. Other times I know I cannot do the emotional work for them. They have to find their own way that works for them. Each situation is different. Part of growth is learning what works for you and some days you learn what worked in the past is not working this go round! Also what worked for me is not going to work for them as each situation is different. 

I did some watering out front this morning in the front yard, getting that finished up felt productive yea! 

I have a plan for Father's day I will be cleaning organizing either in the office or the shop. If there is not a gathering at our son's. I will be contemplating what to do maybe the same on the date of our wedding anniversary coming up we ha 46 years together. 

I had a tub of ch. chip cookie dough thought I would do up some cookies for the family thing that got reschedule due to weather, the cookies are gone. I had a few each day. Rolling my eyes.

Yesterday when I was at the bank the gal said she was just going to call me, the truck is paid off, and then a bit more she said the rest was in the savings and title would be coming in the mail, gotta love loan insurance! Yea some thing to celebrate! I am glad I did not use the stimulus $. Came in handy at tax time! 

Ocean

I got through that last rough patch of emotions. I must admit I was a bit concerned that it did not feel like I grieved as much as others loosing a spouse. After this weeks ocean of grief feelings I know that I have beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have grieved. I still feel there is a hormonal component that others deny. It is a relief to acknowledge that. 

I feel better today and I got some tasks I had been putting off I am counting that for my anti procrastination tasks for this week. 

I got a bit more trimmed on the herb path. Got the laundry going. Talked with a family member that was also going through a rough patch emotionally. 

Got the dog bathed today she was excited and frisky afterwards.

I had to turn on the air conditioner by dinner time glad to have it.
Got some of the floors done glad for that. I realized that the vacuum had been on vacation so I got it out and vacuumed the living room. 

Then I seemed to snap out of it and had a good day. I got some yard work done this morning for my exercise found a bird nest while I was pruning low branches on the tree out front. 

The Dr.'s office called to see about a well person check up reschedule, nope I declined that not till they get a handle on the cv-19 issues. Our state is still in phase two. Not worth the risk for me as I am well.

I was trying to check on when our tax office is going to reopen, not this year I had to go to the next town across the river got in and an apt. the filing dead line is this weekend for that state we have to do it got ours prepared and got that done. Yea for getting to that just in the nick of time. 

I met with a friend this afternoon we had a good chat and caught up on the news. Surprising all that has happened in a week and a half.   

The gathering in hubby's honor is post poned because of weather this weekend. 

Save the buttons

My favorite shirt so comfortable ripped this week, it is well worn and this is not the first tear in it. Time to retire this one so I cut off the buttons, to save for a different project.

Seems a lot like my life this week, ripped tattered torn I weep, mad about a list of things beyond my control. I made a mental list of three things I was mad about swept the floor.

Then I sat in the sun with the shirt on my lap, now reduced to a protection from the dogs claws, she jumped on my lap. I cried released some emotion and hugged the dog. The sun was great after the fog of yesterday.

I do not trust myself to drive with out bursting in to tears. I refused to deny myself this opportunity for healing, the option of staying stuck is not a good one for me and am grateful for it but dang it is not fun!

I need to remember the friends that left contact info. in the sympathy cards to make a list when I can get out and about again. Knitting friends are talking of meeting again, I just finished up my project. So I do not have knitting now.

I need to drive the rigs to charge them up, they need fuel for the outting this weekend that the kids are messing with the plan.

Forgit\ve typos you find it is hard to see them through the fog of tears this past couple of days.

I have been spinning wool in several colors on my favorite drop spindle, nearing the end of the single play yarn to be plyed is the next step.

I am sick of the same food after a couple of days bla.

Watched a movie yesterday of how the royal family delt with princess Di's death and events following that. The queen did not get her way in that either. So for me I am hoping to be better after dealing with this bout of grief.

I have been blocked in some areas, things I have tried to do just did not work for various reasons maybe timing. In any case it is a process.

Kids and grands have returned to a more normal schedule with work and sports they are busy. 

I was going to get my diamonds reset, that did not work out like I thought it would so I am rethinking that. I have a ring sort of looks like an anniversary band with ruby stones five were in it before I lost one and had it replaced with a small diamond I am wearing that now not on my left ring finger. So that works. I have mom's ring that she had her stones reset that I had resized for my right hand on some days it fits others my hands shrink. The ring I wanted was to long for my not elegant hands.

Okay enough blubbering, soon as I got the box of tissues the tears seemed to have stopped for now. Tears are good for the window of the soul.

Tricky Tues.

Today I am traveling through some tricky emotional stuff. For the parade gathering for hubby's memorial at an out of the way mtn. campsite we liked. The gravel roads have some concerned. I am in a pouty mood.

Have had some tears about a music channel I picked today, more modern Christian music helps most of the time today seemed to set me off, I had tears. sigh that did not help.

Learned how to change the furnace filter that was a good thing. 
Got the trash out to the curb and brought the can back in.

Found a more productive way of paying a couple of bills, and I did not even have to leave the house.

Got a way to find a home for some of the shop stuff, and get help cleaning gutters in the fall and some heavy things if needed.

I need to get a call in to the ac guys ac is working but the condenser pump is not doing it's part. I have been manually getting it emptied out.

I have a few things to deal with ahead of it however, on my to get done list. Tax prep folks are booked up, our state still not open. So that makes the neighboring state office extra busy. Sigh. I think I need an in person visit this year.

Then another paper work item to deal with. But I need to remember that I am getting progress on this list. 

Tears lots of tears and grief this week, it rained and I was not able to do gardening till later in the day, and finished the rest of our walk and another shorter session on the stationary bike. 

Monday Morning

This Monday morning I have picked up laundry gotten in the shower, walked the dog. Done my journaling and planning I am happy that I did get some down time this weekend. I watched a marathon of Downton Abbey it helped to clear out my head to get beyond cv-19 worries, and other news of riot fire in the cities of the streets real stress producer, and other issues I've had to deal with in the last couple of months.  It helped to clear out the cobwebs in my brain and think of some thing else.

My ear was acting up this weekend and I am feeling better today. The broth and hot tea helped! 52*-72* today's temp range. I did not watch church on tv the one I was watching live was nearly three hours no thank you. I have to break it down in to shorter segments like 20 min. I pay attn better in smaller segments.

I got the white knitting project phase one done, got 24 round dish cloths made from two cones of white 4 ply yarn to put together in a triangle shape for a prayer shawl. I started my next project some did carding of wool and spun up some single ply of blackberry colored fiber. That was great!

I have a couple of books I am excited about my sketch book, and The Gift in you by Dr. Caloline Leaf, Eat the cookie buy the shoes by Joyce Meyer, A colorful way of life by Barbra Bradley Baekgaard.

We had cold windy rainy weather this weekend some off and on sunshine as well. I cooked up some country style boneless pork ribs, I got a small package and have some left over for today in wraps. 

I got the trash dumped next I need to get to the vacuuming in the living room, my zone is kitchen and dining room this week. I got progress on the next lists in the last planner I got trying to get it ready for July and beyond. I am learning a different way of shopping for me. Getting things I like to have here in the freezer and cupboards. Some things I do not need as much of. Less creamer that is something for the treat for weekends is what I do. The info. about churches in our town and county is a challenge for me to locate. Bible study meets in the emt building so I felt like it was not a good choice for me to start going back to that yet, when they asked I said maybe at a different location it was a small enough group of people five or less.

I am going to get some sweet basil to have in the kitchen it smells so wonderful and I want it closer! Smile. I have a planter I painted last summer that will work for that. I am looking forward to that.

I have been thinking about cleaning out the small shed, I decided I can separate it into zones of yard stuff and tool car stuff sort it one shelf at a time. I did one shelf. Took out some odds and ends of tools I will put them into ice cream buckets the plastic kind with handles for now to get the tools in an organized way to store them. I need to move some things so I can set up my sorting station and do some each day or every other day or week. Getting that on the schedule.

Phase 2.5

Our county is in phase 2.5 on reopening now whatever that is! Translation they have no clue! School packets are due again now, no new ones coming out. School is not final until next week. 

Protests in neighboring town are planned this weekend. My daughter made it clear she did not want me to do down town then. I had not planned on it, but I teased her a bit about it. She was great help here getting the last half of the seeds out of the gutters. I did prep for that before and clean up afterwards. I still need to bag them up to me hauled out of here.

I could not sleep so got up and did some purging of planners, set up a new one that should come in handy. Figured out that I had cola and that was the cause so I was careful to not repeat that last night. 

I did some errands this week, dropped off donation and figured out their new routine. Some banking one bank branch is now open

Pizza burger for dinner was excellent. Sloppy joes tonight I need to use up the sauce. Next time I will freeze the extra. Maybe look for a smaller jar of it as well when I shop. 

Saw my friend yesterday we walked a bit and traded things they other could use, we were both tickled. I got wool roving to spin, she got a amplifier for her hubby so the tv does not have to be so loud. I got it for hubby but he did not like it and barely used it. We enjoyed seeing the doves and flowers.

I was going to work on the she today but it is cold here. My allergies are acting up. There are a couple of items I want to get out of the shop. I need to clear a path. Maybe it will warm up later today. 

The house is in pretty good shape, I got good progress here this week. 

I am sipping on some cocoa coffee yum! 

Yesterday I saw a ring neck Chinese Pheasant in our front yard that was 

awesome to see!

I worked on tweaking my routines and systems for a home keeping note book in a planner it is helping. 

No Whining Wed.

I want to get back out and complete the work on the gutters and carport plus the small shop needs attn. today, but other things need my attention like daily stuff inside. Desk duty things like that.

I swept up seeds and rose petals on the patio after the gutter work yesterday it was needed I put the patio furniture back in place last evening.
I was surprised to seem some new lily bulbs in bloom already this spring, thought they would be later in the season. 

Praise music is helping me today.

Finding balance in my week is important, not there yet outside stuff needs attn. inside stuff was not done, I have zones that have been over looked like laundry sewing room that need to have some thing done in them like sweeping vacuum buzzed around and dusting.

I am proud the tool room and spare room have had a clean sweep done this spring so that is something. I had good news but the feeling from that did not last long. 

I have been watching some folks do polar plunging for health reasons some thing about breathing deeply getting more oxygen. I some times turn the shower temperature down it seems to help my mood. Net Flicks moving art helps as well. I think folks are cranky because of cv-19 fatigue plus other negative images. 

Got the yard mowed, I was tickled to find a volunteer tomato when I move the hose. 

Even dogs grieve but they do adjust. Good news the neighbors are doing something different with their dogs they are not at the fence causing a ruckus so much. That is an answered prayer.

Got the roses and grape by the deck steps pruned yesterday it is looking better in the yard now. 

Tues terrific not terrible

I got some of the gutters cleaned by the deck not much of a stretch with the ladder. Then worked on more of that until I had done half of the gutters. Yea! 

After going over my list I am a bit up to over whelm lots to pay attn. to this time of year. I am nearly dong with my knitting project so will wait on doing any more of that till the outside projects slow down a bit.

I did my declutte the zone in the living room, and a bit more to do plus the dining room needs more attn. of the same as it got over looked last time.

I made up baking powder biscuits last night got them rolled and cut out and froze them uncooked, I can pull one out at a time to use that way. I had milk that needed to be used up.

Trash day got the trash out to the curb. Some of the bank lobbies have opened up in our are that is good news. I need to check on some things.

I slept well and longer than some days. Glad to see the sunshine here this morning. Robins are chirping outside. Walking the dog yesterday was nice. I also did the vacuuming upstairs and 30 min. on my stat bike.

A show on N flicks has given me some insight, the main character [male] a widower has been taking off his wedding ring and then putting it back on and then it clicked they were trying to capture the emotion on video of him remembering his wife. His processing has helped me.

I was listening to my son talk about using up the food in the freezer he had been shopping for four and now it is just him after the kids moved out and his wife passed. It is time to defrost the freezer. So today I am toss in foods in the freezer I do not eat. High carb stuff not on my eating program.

Wow 6 mo. into 2020

Wow can you believe it, we are half done with this year already?
Had to turn off the tube sick of it. I remembered that in the past one of the keys of being successful with my routines and getting past being stuck in the with my home making skills was to remember to turn off the TV in the morning and that helped me to focus. I had to ask hubby when he was here for that as well and it worked for us. Or he would use the one in the basement. So today I am heading to the other parts of the house to do my RBR Room By Room. Just 2-5 min. in a room can make a difference. As a new month begins I restart my zone rounds as well. Trying to get back on track with those again as well. I see a few things in each zone that need to be delt with. It looks like I ignored the dining room zone last month. Rolling my eyes so I will put that on my list and focus a round on it. 

Took the dog for another walk we only did half of it earlier so that was a better choice.

I cleaned up more seeds after the storm on the patio, the snow shovel works great for scooping those up after I swept them into a pile.

Checked on getting my ring redone with the same stones, even with ten carrot gold it was the price of a used care! Cough cough can you say sticker shock! Shaking my head. Rethinking that maybe some thing different. I was disappointed. The other jewelry shop closed a number of years ago. But I did get the info. of the other one I used last time. They are a bit out of town but do deliver.

I pulled a few weeds and chatted a bit over the back fence with a neighbor about current events. The other neighbors got home from camping with their two big loud dogs. Glad I was not camping this weekend with that big storm and all the rain we had this weekend. Not my idea of fun.

Learned a better way to do the dogs nails, put the muzzle on her quick while she was napping! I might need to wrap saran on my head like a hair band and put peanut butter on my forehead like I saw on face book, the guy was clipping his dogs nails while the pooch licked peanut butter!

Got an e mail sent that I had been putting off it was a relief to have that done. From what I understand the grand kids are resuming their activities like work, and some sports of course with the social distancing and reduce class sized. School this year is pretty much over. Unless it starts early in the fall it will be endless summer for parents I think.

I have some things on my list for this next season and phase but some of it is contingent upon things opening up more so I can go in to a business for example.

Protests have happened in the city 30 min. from us, it was peaceful. The police chief was praying for protesters in a by big city three hours from here. At dusk things had changed a bit if you can believe the news casts. Then I turned it off.